Diagnosed with low ovarian reserve? A little story about how this blog started.
Getting pregnant always looked like something that happens easily, so I’ve spent decades believing that (and doing everything possible to make it not happen).
When I only think of all the sex I did not enjoy because I was subconsciously busy calculating my fertile days and obsessing about condoms not being safe enough…
The moment I started trying to get pregnant, everything went wrong.
I will never forget the shock I had at my first visit to a fertility doctor. That kind of feeling can really be understood only by those who had to go through it themselves.
What does it feel like to be infertile?
My first blood test showed unequivocally that there were almost no eggs left, that I was suffering from a low ovarian reserve and that I’d be best off by going straight to IVF.
My husband’s reaction was so cool that it predestined me to love him to the end of our lives. “We’ll try for a while,” he said, “and if it doesn’t work, we can always go abroad and find somewhere a child we could adopt.”
In the months that followed, I tried to explain to him that losing the ability to get pregnant made me feel like I had been stripped of femininity, of that ultimate power for giving life given only to women.
Deep down – in spite of his initial cool reaction to my low ovarian reserve – I also feared that my husband would feel tricked and would seek a younger woman at some point. Worst of all, I did not feel as sexy as before.
I did not feel as a queen anymore, but as a woman of “advanced reproductive age“whose few eggs need to be mixed with sperm during an infinitesimally short and disappearing fertile window.
As the matter of fact, there exists serious research evidence that women who have more sex outside of their fertile windows actually have better immune systems and higher chances of getting pregnant when the ovulation finally comes, but I just couldn’t force myself to take those additional chances.
However, there was one positive thing that resulted out of this negative, dark phase of my life.
As you know, I’ve become a dedicated researcher of all facts, studies, supplements, and just about everything else that deals with egg quality and how to improve it.
And wrote a book about it which became a bestseller in its category on Amazon.
And never went back into my previous life of a laboratory scientists.
But that’s what this blog is all about. Thanx for browsing around. See you soon,